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random acts of moty

someone once said, "honor is not rewarded for what you receive. honor is the reward for what you give.” now it’s time to give. be it someone else’s expiring parking meter, a cup of coffee (for the person behind you), pick up another person's bar tab or a family’s store layaway. do whatever you can. do it in honor of hunter freese. do it moty style!

you already know you are all the man of the year.

moty movement

i don't like unemployment, corporate greed or corruption. i do believe in loosely organized groups, and i am of the opinion that it cant be an uprising without a little violence. plus i love to camp.

so why can’t i get into the occupy movement. it must be the lack of specifics. will there be a revolution, economic collapse or all out class warfare. maybe they need a leader. i’d love to see the next "i have a dream speech" in hd. probably shouldn’t come from michael moore or roseann barr. some rapper did a poem titled 'money man'. without hearing it i'm guessing it's not what i had in mind.

maybe it is time for our own change. maybe we need a new leader, more non leaders or a super committee. maybe next year

here is how shoes played out:
r.r.1st
c.k. 2nd
j.b  3rd
discretionary pts:
1 s.m. for bringing beer
2 n.g. ice pack points to "keep it interesting"

this is not news

i know it is archaic but i still get the newspaper. i like the whole process of going through the sections with a cup of coffee {less getting caught in my underwear by the occasional jogger that sneaks up on me - gooood mornin!}. a few years ago we cut the subscription back to thrusday – sunday because more often than not it would go from front porch to blue bin without even removing the plastic. one day i went out front and there were several newspapers littering our doorstep. people must have thought we were out of town. i noticed that is was a full week’s worth of papers. they were delivering everyday! believing it had something to do with our generous christmas card, i vowed to take full advantage of this freebee and read more. but after a few months of straight to recycle bin i called the los angeles times to rectify.

as the operator explained that for the same low price they would deliver an electronic copy everyday plus a physical paper whatever days i wish... a light bulb went on in my head {it must've been one of those spencer's black lights circa 1980}, because the next thing i knew we were going over some crazy random schedule just to confuse the paper boy.  fri – sun, every first tue of the month and nothing on oct. 29th or fri the 13th.

to this day, i have not confirmed whether they have kept up with my lame request or have i opened the spam that crowds my inbox. i do know i do not like that that the times is selling front page advertising space to look like news - especially to the kardasians.

here’s to you

heartbeats by the knife


some say this song is about two girls experimenting. another version is about her own one night stand with an addict. when i first heard it my impression was parenting. from the recollection of my own lost innocence during the early days of fatherhood to the realization of my evolving wisdom and the deeper connection with those i share the experience with. (yep - i probably totally misinterpreted it {don't worry about it [i'm not]}).


have an awesome fathers day weekend!!!

analyze this

i had the weirdest dream the other night. after all of the hoopla surrounding that royal wedding i went to bed saying, “how could so many people give a flying f_ck.”

so in my dream i was there at the mall selling helium filled blowup dolls with a paper mask of kate’s face tied around the head. i was wearing a shirt that read ‘i did the duchess’. to go deeper (excuse the pun) into my dream, i was overwhelmed. people were buying them up like hot cakes (not another one). i couldn’t fill them and tie on the masks on fast enough. i was sending people i didn’t know to buy more dolls, get more helium, search for a printer to make more masks. all the while the scissors wouldn’t cut the string.  i was having trouble dialing the country and area code on my rotary dial mobile phone and trying to make change while working out the buck/quid exchange rate. it was very stressful.

and now as the whole bin laden story begins to unfold... i’m not sure if i am more stressed about posting this or going to sleep.

word play

i feel like i’ve been doggin my bloggin this year. i’d like to say i’ve been busy. maybe spreading myself too thin is more appropriate. probably more accurate is simply unfocused. i’ve been up to a little bit of everything as well as a whole lot of nothing. i have been gone a lot, but not so far gone that i don’t know the other definition of “dogging”. so i’m definitely not dogging anybody.

i did find time to read about three new breeds of dogs. interesting that the first line about the xoloitzcuintli says, “ it is an old mexican breed”. so why’d they list it... my answer to that would be identical to my explanation of what is going on in egypt.

i do know there is some potential for captions to these protest picts any takers



who ever smelt it

 

whooa double rainbow



whaaat?

it's all in the back swing

i will try to keep you informed and up to date regarding all facts that might be useless.

r.b. is in charge of february’s go-kart event. k1 speed in torrance, sunday feb 27th, 4pm.  please rsvp to him and he should be able to answer all of your questions. i’m going to try to do two posts per month. one for the invite and one for the outcome.

up in smoke

every once in a while, i go through a reggae phase. i’m speaking from a musical playlist prospective. a little reggae always brightens my day. it usually comes about during the summer time when we are spending more time out doors. it often coincided with some sort of vacation or at least a bonfire. typically, there is a group of people involved. this time is different in that i’ve been held up in the office - slammed with paperwork. i guess i'm trying to stay positive.  so as a private service announcement, i am offering my 19 reasons why proposition 19 failed:
1. real hippies don’t vote
2. or want their stash commercialized
3. it was filled with more holes and inconsistencies than crystals and purple hairs
4. the stoners couldn’t get motivated enough to get off the couch
5. so the under twenty one contingency can still get it easily
6. the right already has their meds
7. the war next door is too good for the economy
8. at $100 a pop - pot possession fines can really add up
9. ja rule, puff-daddy and snoop dog’s posses didn’t equate to an additional 9%
10. there is no “party” in tea party
11. the girl scouts pot brownie would knock the thin mints off their all time top favorite list
19. hemp v cotton

ok. i couldn’t come up with 19.  i wish they called it prop 4 {i know there are at least four keepers up there [and back in ’09 prop 4 had something to do with a joint]}. well, i don’t have a staff of writers or the time or any real interest politically or otherwise - i just need a final head count for bowling

wild in the streets

that was wild!

after grading tests, discussing the finer points of pulling pints, shooting shots and evil tattoo art on a young girls arm we decided it was time to hit the road. this is all fine and good as long as you’re not a) drunk. b) madd. c) driving. d) going too far.

“A drunk driver is thirteen times more likely to cause an accident than a sober one. In the United States, more than 30 percent of all fatal crashes involve at least one driver who has been drinking. During the late-night hours, when alcohol use is greatest, that proportion rises to nearly 60 percent. Overall, 1 of every 140 miles is driving drunk, or 21 billion miles each year.”

that said, you’d assume it would be safer to walk right? well let’s examine these statistics.
“Each year more than 1,000 drunk pedestrians die in traffic accidents. Compared with the total number of people killed in alcohol-related traffic accidents each year--about 13,000--the number of drunk pedestrians is relatively small. But when you're choosing whether to walk or drive, the overall number isn't what counts. Here's the relevant question: on a per-mile basis, is it more dangerous to walk drunk than drive drunk? The average American walks about a half-mile per day outside the home or workplace. There are some 237 million Americans sixteen and older; all told, that's 43 billion miles walked each year by people of driving age. If we assume that 1 of every 140 of those miles are walked drunk--the same proportion of miles that are driven drunk--then 307 million miles are walked drunk each year.” – levitt and dubner

doing this math, you'll find that on a per-mile basis, the drunk walker is eight times more likely to get killed than a drunk driver.

j.d. summary:
We successfully made it through 5 of the 7 scheduled stops – short two stops only due to logistical reasons, not through a lack of consumption or a willingness to consume. Most of us downed at least 7 beers, two shots of Jagermeister and one shot of Jameson. According to my calculations that should have put most of us over the legal limit with a manly blood alcohol content of approximately .155%. No wonder that last round of 4th Grade math questions were seemingly so difficult. In the end only half of the group was able to correctly do long division (some clearly with the aid of an iPhone or other calculator), 40% were able to do simple multiplication, .16% (that would be two people in all) could multiply out a simple exponent, 33% could do addition, and only .16% (two people) could count how many beers they had throughout the evening.

here's how the points staggered out:

1st place df (aka master of all games that involve drinking)
2nd place fg  (aka the only master of his faculties while drinking)
3rd place jb (aka beer chug master)

discretionary points:

j.b. but you can call him 'ice pack'
s.m. nicknaming our waitresses barbie and skullie
j.d  a well deserved coordinator point

way to go! john d

philly phan or ayesoo ayeshole

while refereeing a game this past weekend, i had to stop and shoot my most evil stinkeye at a parent. it wasn’t for throwing snowballs, bottles or batteries. there was no fight in the 700 section, and it was no player v. spectator brawl. i just don’t get cheering a career ending injury, booing players let alone draft picks. lucky for her, it wasn’t directed at santa claus. hey lady, did you see the shiner on this fan that vomuked on the police chief’s daughter? maybe she didn’t, but the cop who tasered this guy in center field sure did. shud up and stay off my field.

did i mention it was a g-u6 game.?.

ayso nation!!

the pub crawl is scheduled for saturday, september 25th at 3pm.
bring something to write with, walking shoes and your thinking cap. you’ll get the rest of the details when you arrive.

moty wins the lotty

if you’ve been reading any of these you may remember the post about earthquakes, and what happened?.. then there was the one about sharks and low and behold check this out!

             trey                    sparky                    nostradumbass

so if you’re still with me; i propose a lotto pool (because after golf i could use a little luck {and some moty-lenol}).  second thought, that would require some organization.  just go out now and buy a ticket!  if we don’t here back from you - i want a cut.

here is how golf laid up:

n.g. 1st
p.n. 2nd
j.w. 3rd
m.w. longest drive
s.l. closets to the pin

go raibh maith agat frank

with a lot of and about links

there have been a lot more new old school tags poping up in dogtown. it got me thinking about the old pacific ocean park and how this area of santa monica and venice has developed since abbot kinney began long ago. through all of it’s twists and turns, i’d say it probably isn’t far from mr. kinney’s original vision.

in the 1950's lick pier started to make it’s transformation into a 28 acre nautically themed amusement park called pacific ocean park.  but poor management, arduous maintenance, falling attendance and a few mysterious fires led to it’s demise. in the late sixties the ruins became a hang out for the local kids. the remaining pylons were in the shape of ‘u’ and created a somewhat secluded surf spot known as the cove.     it was a very localized and dangerous place.  today, the only remaining evidence is a few signs warning   beach goers of objects beneath the surface.  from that wreckage the infamous zephyr crew was born.  they brought with them a cutting edge hardcore vibe that still has a presence in surfing and skating today.

this is the dogtown these marking are commemorating. i hope it’s just that samo high is out on summer break.  or pray lords of dogtown might be playing at the leammle. unfortunately, i think it is related to horizons west closing it’s doors. i hope the building hasn’t lost its landmark status. r.i.p. abott?

the golf event is planned for saturday, august 28th at the lakes of el segundo around 3pm. we need a headcount by the 19th to book the tee time.

i woke up in the middle of the night in a panic

while digging thru the trash with a flashlight, i remembered there was photographic evidence.

rest assured my friends – there is a ‘g’ in the top left package!

i had a few epiphanies standing outside in my underwear

• a hot dog without fillers, preservatives and nitrates isn’t a hot dog
• there is no way one can eat that poorly and not feel like crap
• any way you mix it, absinthe is still gross. it’s not the way to synesthesia.
• you can wrap real bacon around a veggie dog, but don’t bother wrapping turkey bacon or ‘fakon’ around a real dog.
• the truly remarkable aspect of swedish ingenuity comes after the initial furniture design. the breakdown for packaging and shipping, industrial design of parts for assembly and not one single word in the instruction manual (not like we’d read it anyway)

here is how the points were mechanically separated, stuffed into a cellulose like plastic casing and chemically cured

go cart racing
d.f. 1st place
j.b. 2nd place
c,k. 3rd place

all hot dog eating contestants were awarded two points for their intestinal fortitude

discretionary points
j.d. 2 pts for driving like a mad man and doing the surfboard shlep
f.g. 1 pt for winning the chip challenge
if i had any discretionary points to give, i’d give them all to my HOTY for all of her effort. thanks babe

beach bum

the term has never really sat well with me. i know carl at surfrider. jingles and the boyos at the venice pier, and angelo from bay street. he sometimes sleeps in the parking structure at my office. i don’t think they are bad people (as long as they are lucid). i get the complexities of homelessness, so i try to be understanding (even if the small campfire {in an enclosed parking area!} gets a little out of hand). i work in santa monica so i see first hand what pan handling really affords. i regularly offer some food or bottled water when i get hit up for spare change. i have sprung for forties before (dogtown surfer style) mostly because of the sincerity of the request. i even included a lotto ticket once because everyone needs some hope. if you’re gonna be a bum; you might as well be at the beach. there are public showers, restrooms and plenty of benches - at least they are one outta three… unless you are in ocean beach. they have a new slogan going around

personally, i thought they complemented the surfers, artists, hippys, bikers, tweakers and feral cats pretty well down there. it is such a cool, laid back, little beach town you’d think they could all “coexist” better. i’ve always liked their “keep o.b. funky” slogan.

i’m heading down there for a birthday party on this saturday. i’ll pick you up a sticker if you want one

the event is next saturday, july 17th
the go kart portion is at K1 again at 11:45 am. for more details please refer back to
gentlemen start your engines post

then we have bbq areas 3 – 6 reserved at rec park from 1 to 6pm. bring the whole family! we will do the hot dawg eating there. we will play picnic games like bocce, bags etc. if there is a game you want to play post or email it so we can stay somewhat organized. we can compete against the kids or women, as family teams or whatever.

off the richter

there have been a lot of earthquakes in so cal lately. if you check out the latest usgs map, you’ll see california looks like a hasbro lightbright board. in fact, there were 24 earthquakes 3.5 or greater in the past thirty days. i may have felt a few or at least i’ve heard about them on the news. they say, “it’s not a matter of if, but when.” dr.lucy from cal tech is always on the news right after any trembler big enough (or on a slow news day) to make the airwaves explaining up thrust or plate slippage. along with a bunch of telephone interviews of random people showing videos of their chandelier swaying or pool sloshing. every one of them exaggerating what they experienced. i am not prepared. no flash light (with batteries), fresh water (other than whatever is left in the last arrowhead case we bought), or transistor radio (do they even make them anymore). we’ve got some canned goods, an extra tank of propane and my camping gear that is just collecting dust in storage. i don’t even know if any of my items are on the preparedness list, but it makes me feel safe.

scientists say they can not predict earthquakes. i’m no scientist, but based on the tectnonic data i’ve complied (in the ten minutes i’ve spent on this post), calculating seismic activity, depths and trajectories. incorporating the median responses from my magic eight ball divisible by the radius of pi and the square root of ouija board answers indivisible with liberty and justice for all… i’m going to go out on a limb and predict the high probability of a large magnitude quake on saturday, may 23rd at 3pm. the epicenter will be at vinny’s pizza on franklin and main.

they don't make 'em like they used to

knocked the bonnet off it...

so it came down to the future “pharmaceutical” dealer delivering the goods to all the i.v. keggers or the eventual “lead” footed architect in his sports car hauling through holland. i must say it was very close, but the point has to go to the prick.

thanks for the stories

last night

with the emails going around last night i threw in the show at the mint instead of posting it here.  last minute and tuesday night, i know. so i'll fill you in on what you missed.

my original expectation held true. the bright, other than a slamming version of led zep's cashmere and a risque flapper dress was mediocre. the next band, the make peace brothers were fantastic! well you’d have to like jack johnson and paul simon, with a bit of blue grass, reggae and folk. not normally my genre but it works. as they set up, the horn cases, mandolin, ukuleles (my favorite), acoustical guitar and bongos made their way to stage. i was hooked. we were staying. did i mention the box? one of the guys (we assume brothers because they looked alike) was sitting on this box and as they began he was patting it like a drum. the crowd had really filled in. grovin through the first few songs, the two stood up and the guy picked up the box and put the strap over his head and was really playing it now –wft. we laughed out loud as the crowd (think tues night size) cheered. i still don’t know what it is, but i want to go check them out online. i decided to write this before googling them as i didn’t want to taint the post by actually reading about the band. support live music

first picture post maybe this will work

still having trouble with the counter

i hesitate to call it a mission statement

Inception
I read that "if you plan it they will come" (it sounded promising). It went on to say an event planner must be: creative -check, communicative -ok, enthusiastic –YES!, honest -i am...i swear, organized -you should see my office, decisive –maybe... So that's the kink in my armor. A friend suggested i start a blog. I quickly decided to 'just do it' (yet i still don't feel any more decisive). Some might call this a kitchen pass, a reason to get out of the house, hook up with the boys for a little male bonding. yes yes and yes. Hence the name the eject button, it’ll get you up and out quickly.

Purpose
This blog is set up primarily to promote and document the first annual Southbay Man of the Year Competition to begin in 2010. I will post the schedule of events, set up the rules, coordinate the organization of each event, send out reminders, publish the scores/standings and hopefully include only non-incriminating pictures along the way. At this point it is an invitational event, only because i don’t know any better (but if you know how to plan something like this – you’re totally invited). With that said, I would like to get an idea as to who is in, and further i will need a few good men to help with the coordination. I intend on asking participants to host at least one event. Beyond that i’d also like to offer this site to all of you, the men of the Gundo, as a place to post your happy hour hang outs, impromptu mudbowl or volleyball pickup games, carpool road trips to san ono, a heads up that a cool band is playing out, or if you have to dump those laker floor seats in a pinch (and i absolutely can’t go – then post it here). And finally this isn't y chroms only. if you're taking the family to the beach or you got the kids while your wife is doing her girls night out - share it here. Maybe you can get a group to 'man up'.

Summation
I’m devoted to my family. It will always be my wife and kids first. me-time is second. This rule will trump all others. But there is no rule stopping anyone from bagging on you for it. If you can’t laugh at yourself then laugh at me. {note to wives if you come across, “ball and chain” or any other malphemism on this site. it was meant with love and sincerity}. i am a general contractor by trade. rarely the first one to the party so to speak. Architects and engineers typically come before me. I can read the plans. handle mathatical calucations. I'll even follow most uniform building codes (to an extent), but this is uncharted territory. I can coordinate a fairly large group of men to build huge structures form the ground up, down to some very discerning details - so this should be easy right? You are more than welcome to just watch me try or you can help me out.