from http://theejectbutton.blogspot.com/2010/10/chilean-miners-or-chili-and-minors.html
the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the assholes
From: shawn@idon't.com
To: dick@isuck.com
Sent: day 1
Subject: idon't.com
hello,
i have owned this domain name for about 12 years now, and i am not certain if i should keep it.
any interest?
s
________________________________________
From: dick@isuck.com
To: shawn@idon't.com
Sent: day 2
Subject: re idon't.com
Shawn,
Thanks for contacting me. Inasmuch as my corporate name is idon't, Inc, and has been for 113 years, your use of that name is a clear violation. I'd respectfully suggest that we not make a big to-do about it, and that you simply let it lapse.
Sincerely,
Dick
________________________________________
From: dick@isuck.com
To: shawn@idon't.com
Sent: day2
Subject: Legal Action re idon't.com
Shawn,
My guess is you probably didn't expect to stir up a hornets nest when you offered to sell me my own name, but such is life.
My attorney suggests that the easiest way to resolve this is for you to contact your registrar and arrange for transfer the domain name "idon't.com" to "idon't, inc."
As I said in my previous email, "idon't" is my corporate name and has been for a long time prior to your getting it as a domain name. Apparently the law on this is very clear and mu understanding is that there have been numerous cases where folks who squat on names or trademarks which are clearly owned by others lose. Legally. And loudly.
A separate category is reserved for folks who squat and then try to sell those names back to their rightful legal owner. I do not think you want to be in that very special category. But, it would be difficult for you to claim that you didn't know it belonged to me, before being informed of same by me, since you tried to sell it to me. So it looks like you're in that very special category.
To continue using the name even for one more day is problematic and requires a swift legal response from me.
To be honest, the particular attorney in question is more "concerned" (okay, "pissed") than I am, so I'm reaching out to you directly, so as not to involve him and complicate matters. By the way, he's a relative who lives for this kind of thing, so legal action costs me nothing.
Of course, we can also just demonstrate that we own the name and get you booted off, but since you clearly know (and have known for some time) I own the name (hence your offer to sell it to me), this way is quicker.
Please arrange for the registrar of this domain name to transfer it to idon't, inc within 24 hours of receipt of this email. Failing to do so, will force me to take legal action to protect the name. In that case, please forward the contact of your legal representative.
Sincerely,
Dick
cc: sjax, lawklaj, frannygirl
________________________________________
From: shawn@idon't.com
To: dick@isuck.com
Sent: week 2
Subject: Re: Legal Action re idon't.com
wow dick, 113years and swift legal action... with my kids starting school tomorrow, i am going to start writing again! you've inspired me!! bullying is great premise for my next book. (i can only hope the layer/relative is a big brother - what would the mom's reaction be? denial or disbelief?) - good stuff.
thanks,
s
________________________________________
From: dick@isuck.com
To: shawn@idon't.com
Sent: week 2
Subject: Re: Legal Action re idon't.com
Shawn,
Just to be clear: "bullying" would be if I squatted on your legal property and then threatened you with legal action if you didn't pay me. In this matter it is you who squatted on my legal property and approached me asking me to pay you. My response was to say that not only would I not pay you, but that if you didn't return what you taken, I would pursue legal action. That's not at all bullying - that is what I am legally obligated to do to protect my interest in my own name.
Your response could have been "hey, I didnb't realize it was your corporate name -- I should have done some more due dilkigence, I guess, but it was an inintentional squatting error, and how about I just get it transferred to you?" And that would have been the end of it.
But in light of the nature of your email, and its complete disregard for, well everything and everybody, you might be best served to just tell me who your legal rep might be in this.
Of course you could just ask your domain registrar to transfer it and nobody has to spend anymore time or energy on this.
By the way, the "layer" (I'm assuming you meant "lawyer" but your way is more accurate) is indeed my brother. And wife. And sister in law. And if they're busy, my father in law makes them all look like wusses.
Come on, Shawn - you got kids, you don't need to spend even a moment away from them dealing with a bully like me.
With olive branch extended,
Dick
cc: sjax, lawklaj, frannygirl
________________________________________
From: shawn@idon't.com
To: dick@isuck.com
Cc: larry@hparker.com
Sent: week 5
Subject: Re: Legal Action re idon't.com
well… my dad is bigger than your dad!..*
dick, you’ve made me realize how important my email address is to me. for that, and all this great material - i guess i owe you some gratitude. and how can i argue with, “didnb’t dilkigence and inintentionally”.
besides, there are other idon'ts: the blogger, the social networkers, a song (actually a playground chant – public domain), a boardgame and even the band; not to mention umpteen similar variations. embrace it. be the inc. or keep being isuck.com {that would be a bigger battle} – all of the other i'dont's i found happen to be girls. surely smaller in stature obviously not in ego – typical bully mentality.
olive branch… sticks and stones (or is that yours too)
i’m out – you’re spam, but if you need me you have my address and my attorney's email. feel free to contact him or stop by. i’d love to meet you, your brother, his wife and her father (whatever makes you secure)
s
*silly childish comments only intended to poke fun at the ridiculous and immature tone of addressee’s earlier correspondences. not to be construed as threatening in any way, shape or form.
________________________________________
From: dick@isuck.com
To: shawn@idon't.com
Sent: week 50
Subject: idon't.com
Shawn,
I hope this finds you and your family well. Hopefully you have found much success with your stories of late. I humbly submit this offer to purchase the rights to your "idon't.com" domain. I kindly offer you $500.00 dollars as well as cover all of your expenses related to in making the transfer. A check has been sent to your 123 ave address. I will consider the cashing of the check as agreement to my offer. Please send an invoice to 456 Ave for reimbursement of your incidental expenses. I will gladly cover your costs without question.
Sincerely,
Dick
cc: sjax, lawklaj, frannygirl
