i woke up in the middle of the night in a panic

while digging thru the trash with a flashlight, i remembered there was photographic evidence.

rest assured my friends – there is a ‘g’ in the top left package!

i had a few epiphanies standing outside in my underwear

• a hot dog without fillers, preservatives and nitrates isn’t a hot dog
• there is no way one can eat that poorly and not feel like crap
• any way you mix it, absinthe is still gross. it’s not the way to synesthesia.
• you can wrap real bacon around a veggie dog, but don’t bother wrapping turkey bacon or ‘fakon’ around a real dog.
• the truly remarkable aspect of swedish ingenuity comes after the initial furniture design. the breakdown for packaging and shipping, industrial design of parts for assembly and not one single word in the instruction manual (not like we’d read it anyway)

here is how the points were mechanically separated, stuffed into a cellulose like plastic casing and chemically cured

go cart racing
d.f. 1st place
j.b. 2nd place
c,k. 3rd place

all hot dog eating contestants were awarded two points for their intestinal fortitude

discretionary points
j.d. 2 pts for driving like a mad man and doing the surfboard shlep
f.g. 1 pt for winning the chip challenge
if i had any discretionary points to give, i’d give them all to my HOTY for all of her effort. thanks babe