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off the richter

there have been a lot of earthquakes in so cal lately. if you check out the latest usgs map, you’ll see california looks like a hasbro lightbright board. in fact, there were 24 earthquakes 3.5 or greater in the past thirty days. i may have felt a few or at least i’ve heard about them on the news. they say, “it’s not a matter of if, but when.” dr.lucy from cal tech is always on the news right after any trembler big enough (or on a slow news day) to make the airwaves explaining up thrust or plate slippage. along with a bunch of telephone interviews of random people showing videos of their chandelier swaying or pool sloshing. every one of them exaggerating what they experienced. i am not prepared. no flash light (with batteries), fresh water (other than whatever is left in the last arrowhead case we bought), or transistor radio (do they even make them anymore). we’ve got some canned goods, an extra tank of propane and my camping gear that is just collecting dust in storage. i don’t even know if any of my items are on the preparedness list, but it makes me feel safe.

scientists say they can not predict earthquakes. i’m no scientist, but based on the tectnonic data i’ve complied (in the ten minutes i’ve spent on this post), calculating seismic activity, depths and trajectories. incorporating the median responses from my magic eight ball divisible by the radius of pi and the square root of ouija board answers indivisible with liberty and justice for all… i’m going to go out on a limb and predict the high probability of a large magnitude quake on saturday, may 23rd at 3pm. the epicenter will be at vinny’s pizza on franklin and main.