train wreck of thought

a few things i never do: signal before changing lanes (i consider it like telegraphing a pass{unless it is a no look}). undertip (i was a waiter once. {to me  fifteen percent is insult enough. [unless it’s coming from a senior citizen]}). think that any task is beneath me (i wouldn’t ask you to do something i wouldn’t do myself). say to my wife, i saw this in a porn (explanation. really?) write a blog post the same night as a pub crawl. (i tried editing it a few times, but couldn’t quite get it straight.)

a few things i should never do again: take the wasabi dare (sake chaser?). give a hitchhiker a ride (she looked harmless).  take a ride from a stranger when i have the kids (unless we are in costa rica, it’s raining and the ex-pat offers a beer), get in the way of venice loco willy (no one has a knife - it's venice). write a blog post the same night as a pub crawl. i digress or did i...

here's how the pub crawl points were passed out
m.b. 1st
f.g.  2nd
n.g. 3rd
discretionary pints go to
b.t.
m.b.
r.b

here's to you benny

this is not news

i know it is archaic but i still get the newspaper. i like the whole process of going through the sections with a cup of coffee {less getting caught in my underwear by the occasional jogger that sneaks up on me - gooood mornin!}. a few years ago we cut the subscription back to thrusday – sunday because more often than not it would go from front porch to blue bin without even removing the plastic. one day i went out front and there were several newspapers littering our doorstep. people must have thought we were out of town. i noticed that is was a full week’s worth of papers. they were delivering everyday! believing it had something to do with our generous christmas card, i vowed to take full advantage of this freebee and read more. but after a few months of straight to recycle bin i called the los angeles times to rectify.

as the operator explained that for the same low price they would deliver an electronic copy everyday plus a physical paper whatever days i wish... a light bulb went on in my head {it must've been one of those spencer's black lights circa 1980}, because the next thing i knew we were going over some crazy random schedule just to confuse the paper boy.  fri – sun, every first tue of the month and nothing on oct. 29th or fri the 13th.

to this day, i have not confirmed whether they have kept up with my lame request or have i opened the spam that crowds my inbox. i do know i do not like that that the times is selling front page advertising space to look like news - especially to the kardasians.

mnemonics

1983 was huge for me. i experienced a lot of new things. my first show and my first stage dive. we went in as three clueless catholic school boys. but we came out smiling. there were torn clothes, bruises and some blood. i always considered myself lucky in that i only lost a shoe and that my mom dropped off.

i don’t recall how we got it, but i remember drinking in the alley before we went in. and i will never forget d.m. saying, “i before e except after budweiser.”

here's one to help you remember:
Pansies Can Skip This Fun

the first letter of each word gives you the first letter of
Pub Crawl Sept Twenty Fourth