respond if you please

i've been talking to a buddy about the crazy things ours kids are learning, and it got me thinking about some of the truths i held self-evident when i was young-er. now, as a parent, i have to carefully consider whether or not to pass along any of this mis/info to my kids.

• you can't go in the water until 20 mins after you eat. (youngish to oldlish translation – i need a chance to rest {possibly revise to one hour})
• jumping off a bridge, just because your friends are doing it, is not a good idea (there will be no reference to any n.zed midnight bungies)
• don’t swallow your gum because it won’t ever digest.
• if you say bloody mary ten times in a dark bathroom and when turn on the lights you will see a scary woman in the mirror. (light as a feather, stiff as a board works too as long a you keep your eyes closed)
• treat others as you would like to be treated (no reference to any high school girlfriend)
•do unto others as you would like them to do unto you (catholic guilt – again no reference to any high school girl friend)
• just because it is in a book doesn’t make it true (revised for the internet)
• cautiously pop any pimple close to your forehead. (something to do with not getting all of the puss out and poison to your brain)
• you can’t pray to god for material things, because it doesn’t work that way (i won’t share the part about stealing, because you can ask him for forgiveness)
• there are only 106 na’s in ‘hey jude’ (two are nananana’s so they don’t count) {but if they ask… there are seventy seven la’s in the “don’t you”, breakfast club sound track version})
• he hits you because he likes you (nothing about any donkeys)
• you need to get good grades in order to get a good job
• marking your parent’s bottles with pencil lines before you have your friends over to raid their liquor cabinet. then refilling the bottles with water does work. (but when the time comes - i will be counting the beers in the garage refrigerator)

so now i am going to ask you for something (you have a few options):
a) post one to add to the list. b) reply to the february go kart event. c) both a and b. d) sorry there is no none of the above.