tis the season

i was at sector nine today comparing the stewart fartknocker to the mccoy nugget (a completely different story for another time), when i heard this kid say to his mom, “i don’t give a crap.” i turned to both him and his mother and said, “that one is definitely better to give than receive.” she glared at me as she took his arm and pulled him away. eh… clean up in isle four.

it came out of my mouth before i had a chance to really think about what i said. i believe this to be true, and after the weekend that i have had, i feel it is time to put my money where my mouth is (and im not talking sh_t).

in the spirit of the holidays, december’s event will be two fold. first, you will have until the 10th to get your house decorated clark griswold style so light’em up boys! i will be out that weekend with a my esteemed panel of judges grading you on creativity and presentation. please let me know if you will not be participating in this event for obvious reasons. the second will be a gift wrapping competition for speed and accuracy. please bring an unwrapped toy, some wrapping paper, tape and a bow to top it off – still working on the where and when.

a little more about the giving. i would like to donate the toys we bring to choc in sean’s honor.

always the good ones

with a heavy heart i must share the loss of one of our own.
sean kelly was one of three men killed in a small plane crash on sunday. he is and forever will be a man of the year in my book. he will always be remembered as a husband, friend, surfer, skier and the twenty-ten moty chili cook off winner. he was the inspiration to the shine on post. an all around great guy who is already tremendously missed.
rip s.k.

in the gutter

surfing the interweb and came across die antwoord. a rav rap act straight outa cape town. the name translates to 'the answer'  but to what.?. they’re signed to interscope, well so was roscoe dash. i watched this whole video. when it was over, i just sat quietly stunned for a several seconds. then i watched this interview. i chuckled at their idiocracsy, but mostly i just shook my head the entire time. are they for real? vanilla ice reincarnated, yo-landi with her bettie bangs (or a rare femullet {i do find her oddly attractive}) and without coming across too insensate i have to mention dj botha. it’s got to be a joke, right.  not any worse than the bowling turnout.

points were updated per j.b.’s score - thanks ice pack!
as the holidays fast approach, who is up for a christmas decorate-off? best exterior, national lampoon style, gets points. you’re going to do it anyway.  don't forget to spread some cheer!!!

up in smoke

every once in a while, i go through a reggae phase. i’m speaking from a musical playlist prospective. a little reggae always brightens my day. it usually comes about during the summer time when we are spending more time out doors. it often coincided with some sort of vacation or at least a bonfire. typically, there is a group of people involved. this time is different in that i’ve been held up in the office - slammed with paperwork. i guess i'm trying to stay positive.  so as a private service announcement, i am offering my 19 reasons why proposition 19 failed:
1. real hippies don’t vote
2. or want their stash commercialized
3. it was filled with more holes and inconsistencies than crystals and purple hairs
4. the stoners couldn’t get motivated enough to get off the couch
5. so the under twenty one contingency can still get it easily
6. the right already has their meds
7. the war next door is too good for the economy
8. at $100 a pop - pot possession fines can really add up
9. ja rule, puff-daddy and snoop dog’s posses didn’t equate to an additional 9%
10. there is no “party” in tea party
11. the girl scouts pot brownie would knock the thin mints off their all time top favorite list
19. hemp v cotton

ok. i couldn’t come up with 19.  i wish they called it prop 4 {i know there are at least four keepers up there [and back in ’09 prop 4 had something to do with a joint]}. well, i don’t have a staff of writers or the time or any real interest politically or otherwise - i just need a final head count for bowling

fall back

i got my first skateboard when i was five years old.  i remember this because i fell and knocked out my front tooth. i still have the bridge with a false tooth on it. my kids think it is pretty cool.

at some point, each has separately put it in her mouth – gross. i found skateboarding again at the age of 11. i remember this because my friend got caught with stolen property. you could call it trespassing and grand thief… we called it hoping a fence and taking rejected decks, trucks and wheels from veriflex’s dumpster. i had been there many times, but i wasn’t there the day of the shopping cart. there was no arrest or fine or anything like that. he just had to return the stuff they found. eventually, all the moms talked and i too had to return my stuff. i remember this because it was humiliating. i skated my first pool when i was thirteen. anthony’s pools went out of business and left behind three empty pools on their lot. i remember this because it was my puddle of blood that left the stain in the plaster right next to the drain. not too long ago, in my dad’s garage, i found one of the fruits of my dumpster diving days. a veriflex ten deck.

i remember this because we used to soak warped decks in water and try to get them to dry flatter (there was no concave or double tail kicks in those days). over twenty years have passed since i’ve skated any pools or ramps. this time i thought i’d be more responsible. i bought pads and helmet and a pass to the cove. i thought i was just a little rusty, until a kid pulls some sort of kick flip fakey in the clover
bowl. i’m ok backside, but on my frontside grinds need a lot of work. and i’ll remember that the next time i sit down. do they make a pad for your ass, or am i ready for depends

bowling saturday and remember - we all fall back sunday night. don’t forget to set your clocks